If you are reading this, you want a change. After working with couples for years, I know that it takes a certain mindset in order for change to take place in your marriage. Before we embark on this journey, I need to prepare your mind and your heart.
This is not a time for us to pull out our lists and start reading every flaw that our spouse has. This is a time for introspection and really looking at how you have contributed to your current situation. If there is a problem with your marriage then pointing and blaming is not going to solve it. Most couples who really struggle reach a stalemate. They refuse to change because the other person won’t change. “Why should I listen when she doesn’t?”, “Why should I initiate sex when he doesn’t make time for me?”.
In order for your marriage to grow you have to keep the bigger picture in mind. It is easy to get caught up in your present situation and how the other person is making you feel. Marriage is bigger than one moment. It is a collection of moments in time that, when compiled, represent a lifetime of growth and change together. In order to find that motivation to change we have to see the bigger picture and ask ourselves, “What would I be willing to change in order to be with this person for the rest of my life?”
Now before you pull out the pitch forks and torches, let me say that this is meant to be a two-sided process. It is best if both people will sit down and be honest with themselves and each other. But this will not happen if either party feels like the other person is going to attack or jab with a timely “I told you so.” If your spouse is sincere enough to read this then you need to treat them with the kindness and forgiveness you hope to receive.
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
This verse is the spirit and attitude that we will need in order to make this experience constructive. Notice it doesn’t say so one person pokes at another. I know there is probably some anger, resentment, and maybe even fear attached to this topic. But in marriage we can not let something as temporary as our feelings keep us from real life change. We have to stand up and fight for what is important and there are few things as vital as the health of our marriages.
Stay plugged in as we post new content and go on this journey of restoration together. Each post will pertain to subjects that will either make your marriage stronger or help you become a better contributor to your team. As we transform into better people, we can be a more sincere and authentic spouse.